Understanding grief

Grief affects everyone differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to experience it. Some people may feel numb or in shock, while others may experience intense sadness, anger, or even relief. Understanding that these feelings are natural can help you navigate this challenging time.

Support for yourself and others

For many, talking to a professional can be an important step in managing grief. Bereavement counsellors and support groups provide a safe space to express emotions, share experiences, and find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. For more information on finding support services, please see our section on bereavement charities.

If you know someone who has experienced a loss, offering support can be invaluable. Simple gestures like listening without judgment, helping with daily tasks, or simply being present can make a world of difference. Everyone grieves in their own way, so it’s important to respect their process.

Bereavement in children

It was once thought that showing strong emotions in front of children should be avoided to protect them from fear or confusion. However, not seeing these emotions can leave children feeling isolated in their grief.

Many adults who were bereaved as children have shared how difficult it was to believe they were alone in their sadness. Without others showing their grief, they felt their own feelings were wrong and tried to hide them, which often hindered the healing process.

At the same time, children need to know that life goes on after loss, and there will be happiness again. Seeing both sadness and hope helps them understand the grieving process.

The bereavement charity, Winston’s Wish, was founded specifically to support children who have been bereaved. They have lots of useful resources to help you speak to children about dying and grief.

Loneliness

Many people find that they are lonely after someone has died, especially if they spent a lot of time with them. Even if there are other people around, it is often the specific person who we will find it difficult to be without, especially at first.

When someone dies, we not only suffer the end of a relationship but lose the reciprocity of shared memories, pet names and day-to-day habits, which can become harder to recall when one half of a pairing is lost. Though easy to assume this primarily impacts partners, this can be true of all types of relationships: an elderly relative may take with them the memories of an older generation while siblings might lose the shared experiences of childhood.

Support groups

Sometimes extra support can be really helpful. Your GP can let you know what’s available locally and provide referrals if needed. There are also many local and national charities offering support for bereaved individuals.

Counselling services are available through the NHS, though waiting times can be long. If you prefer private counselling, be sure to research different types to find the right fit and choose an accredited professional.

Bereavement groups can also be comforting, especially for those who find it helpful to share experiences with others. Many people find strength in the routine of a regular group, and the friendships formed often last long after formal meetings end. Make sure group leaders have the experience needed to guide these sessions with care.

It’s important to remember that all the feelings we’ve discussed—grief, confusion, and even moments of relief—are completely normal. Everyone’s journey through bereavement is different, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. If you ever find yourself needing support, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Whether through friends, family, or professional services, there’s no shame in seeking the comfort and guidance you need during this time.