Freeman Brothers was first established in Horsham, West Sussex, in 1855. The company now has a further three offices across the county – in Billingshurst, Crawley, and Hurstpierpoint – and supports the local community by sharing advice on topics related to funerals and bereavement. Today, Becky shares a conversation which took place on popular BBC show ‘Race Across the World’ regarding childhood bereavement and how to support young people who are impacted…
For a while, the BBC’s Race Across the World was a quiet hit, but it seems to have finally gone mainstream. The premise of the show is an incredible challenge: pairs of competitors travel from A to B internationally without the use of a mobile phone or flights, for the equivalent cost of a one-way flight, and only able to pay using cash. I’ve been hooked from the start, avidly following the four series involving members of the public, and now enjoying the second celebrity series which, at the time of writing, is at the halfway stage.
As with any reality TV show, the stories of the competitors – what has drawn them to take part, and the personal obstacles that they have to overcome whilst racing – are as much of a focus as the literal journey. It’s a bit like the philosophy some people have regarding yoga practice: that it’s not about being able to touch your toes, but what you learn on the way down.
This has allowed participants to raise awareness of issues that have impacted them. At various stages, audiences have been able to better understand hearing loss; infertility; racism; sight loss; cardiac conditions, and more.
One of the topics covered in the current series has been childhood bereavement, which was inevitable due to the fact that two of the contestants are media personality, Jeff Brazier, and his son, Freddy, whose mum, Jade Goody, died in 2009. Jade’s death, aged 27, and due to cervical cancer, is credited with raising significant awareness of the importance of early detection and treatment of the disease.
Freddy and his older brother are now young adults, with Bobby competing on the 2023 series of Strictly Come Dancing, and taking the opportunity to speak about and honour his mum via a specific dance. Freddy was often pictured in the studio audience alongside Jeff, with the public unaware that he would have his own televised journey a few months later.
The time at which a series of Race Across the World is shot is not always obvious, but during the third episode of the current series, it was revealed that Mother’s Day – the viewer assumes the UK date – was being observed, and so the topic of Freddy and Jeff’s bereavement was raised. Early in the episode, via a chat with fellow participant, Kola Bokinni, viewers learn that he was also bereaved of his mum as a child – this serves to show that the situation is more common than many may realise.
What follows is a highly-emotional few minutes of television. Jeff and Freddy are first to leave the checkpoint for their next one, revealing the latest destination in the process. Teams are free to choose which route to take between stops – there are sometimes multiple options – and what guides their decision in this instance is partly how they’d like to mark the occasion of Mother’s Day.
It’s an interesting conversation to witness, and is interspersed with clips of Freddy speaking to camera in a studio after the race, explaining who his mum was and how he feels about his relationship with her. In the footage shot in Brazil, Freddy appears distracted as Jeff is trying to focus him on their next steps – choosing a route, whilst also picking one that offers them a suitable option to mark Mother’s Day later that evening. It seems as though Freddy doesn’t want to discuss the topic, and ultimately asserts his need to take a walk through the streets in their current location, apparently to clear his head. Jeff supports his choice and, as they’re walking, Freddy agrees with his dad’s earlier suggested route, which would take them to the coastal city of Salvador first.
Via the studio footage, Freddy reveals that he doesn’t remember being held by his mum (he was only four when she died) and that the majority of his memories are second-hand ones, established by watching YouTube videos or reading newspaper articles. As they approach Salvador, Freddy suggests to Jeff that his mum has guided them to the place that they should go – whilst he states that he finds it difficult to talk about his mum, it’s clear that he feels connected to her. They visit the city’s famous lighthouse – a popular spot to watch the sunset – and join a crowd of people gathered to participate in the nightly ritual, finishing the day with a swim.
After the episode ended, Jeff shared his thoughts via his Instagram account, revealing that he’d debated whether to even remind Freddy that it was Mother’s Day (the occasion is marked in May in Brazil, and without their phones and being able to contact others at home, it would’ve been easy to ignore it). He also described it as ‘heartbreaking’ that Freddy doesn’t remember being held by his mum, and that, ‘One of the hardest things about parenting a bereaved child must be that feeling of wanting to take all of the pain and conflict from them and knowing that it’s impossible.’
The episode and Jeff’s comments afterwards left me wondering what the typical advice is for those who know a child who is bereaved of a parent during the early part of their life. Here, I sought support from Jigsaw South East, a charity which supports children and young people who are bereaved of a loved one, and Communications Manager, Caroline Edwards has this to say:
‘Special occasions can be difficult and painful for families who are bereaved of a loved one. What to do in these circumstances will be unique for every family and there is no right or wrong way to mark the day. If you want to avoid the day entirely and switch off from social media, that’s completely understandable. Some people like to use it as a day of remembrance for their loved one, this could be visiting a place they loved or cooking their favourite meal.
‘Talking openly about memories you have will help your child to continue their bond with their loved one and help them to acquire the memories they need, to do this. In a situation like Freddy’s, where he was very young when his mother died, his memories are likely to be acquired memories. Sharing stories alongside photographs and videos could help to expand upon his acquired memories.
‘For children and young people who struggle to talk about their loved one, they may prefer to write in a journal or create a memory box or salt jar, to help them remember their loved one and be able to share their thoughts and feelings. They could even write a letter to their loved one or younger children could write/draw worries they may have and put them in a worry box for their parent or carer to read and support them with.’
We’re all looking forward to seeing how the Race finishes! You can watch the first four episodes via BBC iPlayer now, with the remaining two episodes airing at 9.00pm on 11th and 18th September.
If this issue has impacted you or someone you know, do share this post with them – we hope that it can provide some positive suggestions.
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