Selecting who will take the service

It is important to choose someone to lead the service who reflects the tone of the funeral and is able to speak about your loved one with care and respect. If you are having a service in a place of worship, you should expect they will provide someone to take the service for you, and you may not have any choice over who this is.

In other venues, you have more of a say, and these are some of the options:

• A Religious officiant can still take the service for you outside a place of worship, although some may not be willing to do this or it can impact on the service content. They may also only wish to take a service for a member of their congregation.
• A Civil celebrant is a professional officiant who will work with you to create a service of your choosing. They will usually be happy to include any type of content, religious or not. We can recommend an officiant based on your requirements and the type of service you would like, whether that be reflective or celebratory.
• A Humanist officiant will lead a funeral which is non-religious in nature. Some Humanists will include religious content, especially if it relates to the person who has died in a non-religious context (for example, allowing ‘Abide with Me’, associated with football, to be sung for someone who was known to be a big fan). However, because Humanism is a belief system, this should not be expected or taken for granted (in the same way as you would not expect a Rabbi to include a Catholic prayer in a service).
• A Close friend or relative – Someone in the family or a friend can take the service, but this should be carefully considered. There are practicalities – operating the music system or cueing musicians, keeping an eye on the time if you are in a venue that needs this – which may feel at odds with emotions on the day. This may be better suited to less formal funerals, those in venues without time limits, or being delegated to someone who is used to public speaking in other aspects of their life. Your funeral director can help with how to operate the music system and offer other assistance.

If you would like someone specific to take the service, whether that be your religious leader or a friend, we will need to consider their availability as well as yours and the service venue’s, when making the booking – and we will not arrange a date and time for the funeral without consulting with them to check it suits them.

Order of service and condolence books

The structure of a funeral service can vary depending on religious beliefs, personal preferences, or traditions. A typical service might include music, readings, tributes, and moments of reflection. If you opt for a religious service, your chosen officiant will guide the proceedings, while a civil celebrant or family member may lead a non-religious or semi-religious service.

A printed order of service acts as a guide to the running order for all attendees.

We can provide printed Orders of Service to accompany the funeral, using the proposed running order provided by your officiant and taking account of your preferences for the covers including photos, invitations to a reception afterwards, thank yous to attendees and so on.

These can be a keepsake for attendees at the funeral or be sent to anyone who was unable to attend afterwards. We are able to produce these in-house or can recommend a local printing company for more complex requirements or those which are needed in large quantities.

Condolence books are a good way to record people’s thoughts and comments in one place, and can also subsequently be used as a place to keep other correspondence.

They are probably best suited to be handed to attendees of a reception or a service without a strict time limit; as doing so can take time and it’s often not practical for people to form a queue to complete one in the crematorium chapel. We have a selection of books available to purchase but anything is suitable for this purpose, although a hard back and plain pages are probably practical.

Music, Readings, and Tributes

Music, readings, and tributes personalise the funeral, making it a unique reflection of your loved one’s life. You can choose songs or hymns that were meaningful to the person who has passed away, or ask family members to share personal readings or stories.

Think about what would feel most comforting and true to your loved one’s spirit. Whether you opt for traditional hymns, poems, or contemporary music, these touches create a lasting impact. We can always help guide your choices if you’re unsure.

What to expect either side of the service

During the arrangement meeting, we’ll ask if you’d like to follow the hearse or meet at the venue, and whether limousines are needed or if you’ll travel separately. We’ll confirm arrival times and ensure everything runs smoothly.

Between our initial contact and the day of the funeral, we’ll help you make decisions about the music, flowers, Orders of Service, and any other details. We’ll ensure our team understands your wishes, such as whether venue curtains should close around the coffin, or if you prefer to be seated before or follow the coffin in. If you’d like family or friends to bear the coffin, just let us know, and we’ll guide you through it.

We’ll coordinate with the venue staff and officiant to ensure everything goes as planned, confirming details with you if needed. Your officiant will lead the service and keep everything on track. Afterwards, we will do our utmost to accommodate your preferences for how attendees leave the venue, though restrictions may apply to some venues. At a crematorium, you’ll typically exit through a separate door, with flowers displayed in a designated area.

If there’s an attended committal, our team will ensure you’re prepared to leave in time, and you can choose who will attend this part. Details like meeting points can be noted in the Order of Service or announced by the officiant.

If you’ve used our limousines, they’ll be available for your return journey. However, please inform us of your destination in advance. Due to the unpredictable length of a reception, our transport won’t be available for pick-up afterwards.

The funeral itself

Attendees can either follow the coffin into the venue or be seated beforehand, which is often more practical for older guests or in poor weather. The officiant will usually invite everyone to stand as the coffin is carried in.

A senior member of the funeral director’s team, typically the conductor, oversees the service and ensures everything runs smoothly. This includes coordinating music and visual tributes, confirming that the officiant has all the necessary details, and ensuring that the gravesite is prepared.

The right number of bearers will be provided to carry the coffin, depending on its size and the venue. For cremations, the coffin is placed on the catafalque at the front of the chapel, where curtains may close around it based on your preferences. Even if the coffin moves out of sight, it won’t go directly into the cremator, and the cremation process isn’t visible from the chapel.

Cremations typically happen on the same day as the service, though crematoria can delay the process by up to 72 hours (known as ‘holding over’). This is rare, and you can choose to prevent it. Each cremation is individual, with no mixing of remains. If you’d like to witness the cremation for religious or personal reasons, this can be arranged by notifying the crematorium in advance.

After the service, any floral tributes will be moved to a designated area for guests to view. For burials, the coffin is usually taken to the graveside for a short committal, unless the service has already taken place there. If the burial is at a different location, the coffin will be returned to the hearse and transported to the gravesite for the committal.

If the service is elsewhere, the committal is often reserved for close family, but this isn’t required. Your officiant can announce your wishes at the end of the main service, or you can communicate this in the Order of Service.

After the funeral

After the service, we will return the ashes to the Applicant or a nominated person or assist with their interment. If preferable, the ashes can remain at the crematorium to be scattered or interred there.

If the funeral involved a burial or ashes are being interred, you may wish to arrange a memorial, such as a new headstone or an inscription on an existing one. Our sister company, J.Gumbrill, can assist with this, especially if they handled the removal of an existing memorial for the funeral.

Ashes can be interred at any time after the funeral, but we recommend waiting for the funeral to be completed before making arrangements. If a memorial is permitted at the site, you’ll need to decide whether to install it before or after the interment.

We will also send the final account to the designated party, with an itemised breakdown reflecting any changes. Payment is due within one month and can be made by cash, card, cheque, or bank transfer.

Additionally, we’ll handle any remaining matters, such as sending a webcast copy or visual tribute if requested, placing a post-funeral notice, and managing donations for at least five weeks before updating you on the total and names of donors.